RIP Richard "Buddy" Vandemark

I can't believe you're gone. You had so much more to live for! You were so loved and you brought such an atmosphere to wherever you went. We fell in love when we were so young, but you were my first love, and it was real to me. I'll never understand why you chose to do this, I'll never understand just what was going through your head. I think you needed someone, you needed love. You needed more than anyone could give you. I'm so happy we re-connected this past month. When you started calling me again, I was surprised, but now am SO grateful that I got caught up on what I was missing. You made me laugh, and we reminisced about when we were together and all the stupid stuff we used to do. You apologized for A LOT and told me I was more beautiful than ever. You always had a way with words. I know you're not really gone, because your spirit will live on in everyone who remembers you. I'll miss you Buddy, you'll never be forgotten. I just wish I could have done more to help you. I wish I would have talked to you for a little longer or said something to change your mind. But I can't dwell on that, I miss you and love you...


Remember this?

Rest in Peace Buddy. I miss you so much already. My heart aches to think of you in pain, and how sad you must have been to do this to yourself. I wish I could go back

in time... but that's impossible. I love you.